3 questions to help you garden your own story

“Good morning, Miss Ana!” shouts my 6-year-old neighbor. She’s on her way to her dad’s car, and I’m puttering in my front-yard garden one fine July morning.

“Good morning, Miss Nora!” I replied.

“How are your plants today?”

“They are great, just a little thirsty.”

“Okay, have a great day!” she says in the most cheerful voice.

This joyous exchange happened many times all throughout the summer. My little neighbor is undoubtedly a happy, adorable kid. But the garden is what connected us in those small, delightful moments.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the ways my garden represents me. It draws from my childhood summers back in Romania where my grandmother nurtured the most beautiful flower garden for miles.

My garden also represents what I and my family value: respecting and supporting the environment, creating a welcoming space to share with the neighborhood and - above all - awakening a sense of wonder about life and all living things.

Gardens should be shared with everyone because they nurture life, make connections and fill hearts.

This moment of clarity came to me unexpectedly, while listening to one of Monty Don’s books, “Down to Earth” (if you’re not familiar with him, check out “Big Dreams, Small Spaces” series on Netflix). Monty came up with the concept of “gardening your story” and explained that the garden must be as special and unique as its caregiver.

And it’s okay, in fact encouraged!, not to follow the rules and make mistakes along the way.

Understanding how I am gardening my story is helping me be more mindful and purposeful about what I want my garden to tell the world (and to my cheerful next-door neighbor):

Gardens should be shared with everyone because they nurture life, make connections and fill hearts.

I’d like to share a couple of ways you can start gardening your own story too (or, if you don’t have a garden yet, how to plan your dream garden). 

1. What does nature mean to you?

How do you feel when you are outside in your yard, around the neighborhood or in a place away from home? Do you have fond memories that involve flowers, trees, vegetable gardens or just simply admiring all living things around you? How do these memories make you feel? 

To me, nature is where I cleanse my mind, recharge and generally become more mindful. Our family trips are always in areas with plenty of nature soaking (although I do love city breaks too). And one of my fondest nature memories is from a hike we went on in Colorado where my daughter discovered a storybook toadstool tucked under some leaves.

That’s the kind of unexpected wonder I want to discover in my garden too.

2. What would you like to grow in your garden - and why?

The “why” part is the most important. We all have preconceived ideas about what we should or shouldn’t grow. In my first season of gardening I scoured a dozen kitchen garden books to see what I could grow in containers. I eliminated about 90% of the suggestions because I just didn’t see myself enjoying those suggestions (after all, how many herbs can a human being consume over a couple of months in the summer?). So I narrowed down my options based on what I and my family would enjoy eating. 

Every new season I try to grow flowers that are unique and slow you down so you can admire them.

And when I decided to grow flowers, I absolutely had to try growing dahlias because it’s what my grandmother loved most in her garden and brought so much joy to all her neighbors. And every new season I try to grow flowers that are unique and slow you down so you can admire them.

3. What do you want your garden to give back?

There’s so much more to a garden than just beauty. Do you want it to be a place where you relax and clear your mind? Where you teach your kids about the natural world? A haven for pollinators and wildlife? There are so many things a garden can do, so be intentional and layer your aspirations over time.

In my first season of gardening, I just wanted to see if I could actually grow anything and keep it alive. When it turned out that I could, I continued to experiment with new things to grow in very limited space until finally I settled on the purpose I have today: Create a welcoming place for beneficial wildlife that also inspires and delights those who see it.

You have probably noticed that none of the questions are about how the garden should look like. That’s important to your story too and it will flow naturally once you clarify what relationship you want to have with your garden - and what part of yourself you want to reflect in it.